So I’ve realized just how addicted to doing nothing I am. I’ve started referring to it as “slughorning”. For those of you weirdos who have never read the Harry Potter books, Horace Slughorn is a character who first appears disguised as an armchair (partly with magic, but ‘armchair’ is not a shape completely different from his own body type). When I spend a long amount of time just sitting and doing nothing, I refer to it as slughorning because I feel that it’s turning me into an armchair.
And I’m calling enough.
Like most people in America, I have spent most of my life bouncing between desperately wanting to lose weight/be healthier and eating like an unsupervised child at a birthday party. Typically when I start trying to be less awful it involves vowing to completely give up everything I know. No more junk food. Ever. Exercise everyday. Nothing but kale. You get the point. Perfection isn’t just the goal, it’s what I tell myself is the only option. It goes great for a few weeks but then reality happens. I have a small “cheat”. I justify it. Then before I know it I’m trying to personally give McDonald’s record profits. And every step of the process is filled with guilt, frustration and shame that I have failed.
So now it’s time for something different. Rather than forcing myself through a miserable, torturous workout on any machine that my gym keeps in the “Cardio Room”. Or lift weights only to feel like I’m doing nothing because I can’t see those lbs. melting away, why not try doing something I actually LIKE doing?
I like being outside. Sunshine and fresh air make me incredibly happy. Me and my best friend, ‘Troublemaker’, have gone hiking and camping several times before. We always have a blast. And say we should go more. But we don’t. Not when there’s always new videos on YouTube to catch up on. And that pizza isn’t gonna eat itself.
So new goal: at least once a week, pry ourselves from the couch and get outside and go for a hike. We are very fortunate to live in West Michigan, right next to Lake Michigan. We have forests, lakes, rivers and some really gorgeous scenery. And tons of trails to explore.
So watch out world, fat girl on the move.