It’s been too long

Life is really fucking crazy. It’s been about a year and a half since I’ve posted on this blog. A lot has happened, allow me to catch you up.

I wound up getting promoted at work. It was exciting for a little while but the new position only made the depression I’d been struggling with worse. I was stressed and anxious and found myself winding down some very dark mental roads. I had a year long contract in my position though, so I wasn’t able to find new work. I spent a lot of time thinking about who I am and what I want my life to be.

My best friend and I spent countless hours dreaming about hiking and adventures, talking about how we would both love nothing more than spending our time traveling. We decided that what we would both like to do is live out of an RV and travel the country, hiking and camping everywhere we can. It’s something that we both want to work towards but need to figure out a few things first to make it all work financially.

I’ve also gone back and forth with my physical health through all of this. I am happy to report that as of right now, I have lost approx. 60 lbs. from my heaviest weight. With a few bumps in the roads, I have been moving closer and closer to following a plant based diet and have been experimenting with different forms of exercise (which is tough with my job as I have an hour commute each way and long, taxing days at work).

At the beginning of September, my life was flipped upside down. My mother, age 61, unexpectedly passed away. I was in shock (and still am, to be honest). It was a very hard few weeks. When I went back to work, I very quickly realized that I needed out. Life is short. Too short to spend precious time wasting away in a job that brings me so much misery.

So I quit.

That was this past Wednesday. In about a week and a half, I will be unemployed. And I’ve never felt better. Before making the final decision, I was wracked with anxiety, I spent many hours discussing the pros and cons with those closest to me and worrying that I was making a horrible decision. In the end, I realized that I could find ways to make the finances work through odd jobs. My mental and physical health are far more important than money.

So what’s next for me? I don’t know and that’s a very oddly freeing place to be. I’ve been looking into part time work doing things like transcription and am getting myself into a place where my monthly living expenses will be very very low, allowing me the freedom to do this. It will also give me the time I’m craving to work on other projects. I have several ideas and projects in the works that I want to further explore. More on those later.

I wanted to come back to this blog because the posts  I made before still ring true in my head. I want to explore, and go on adventures. I want to actually live my life, rather than just survive it. And I want a place to get my thoughts out and share my experiences with others.


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