The last two weeks have been just absolutely awful. To anyone out there thinking about moving, let me offer my condolences. I’ve moved so many times in my life, but it seems that every time I do the task is worse than the time before. I don’t know if it’s because as I live my life, I accumulate more and more crap that must be dealt with or if the aging of the squishy meat sack that I call my body causes it to be a more physically daunting task, but dammit am I exhausted. I am also very sorry that I have not posted for a while. I am hoping that as the physical and mental stress of moving wears off I’ll get settled into a cozy routine and regular posting schedule.
Today, while spending almost my entire day painting a basement floor (my life is a party), I had a lot of time to think. And I want to share with you my thoughts on thinspiration and it’s close cousin, fitspiration (and probably a lot of nonsense from my brain).
For those of you who don’t know and don’t feel like doing a quick Google search, thin/fitspiration is a term that refers to pictures/video/memes/etc. of very thin and very fit women, sometimes with captions, that are supposed to inspire us (get it?! That’s where the “-spiration part comes from. It’s just so damn clever) to lose weight so that we can become the magically delicious women we see in the pictures.
Now there are a lot of people out there that have talked about the harm in these images and have written very excellent articles on the problems that thin/fitspiration causes, not the least of which is exacerbating eating disorders. I have read many articles on the subject in my life and if it interests you, I recommend doing the same.
I’m not an expert on that subject, and don’t claim to be, but I am an expert on the whirlwind of shenanigans and fluff that fills my own head. And that’s what I’m going type at you today. The following is my own thoughts about my own life.
Now, it’s something I haven’t done for a while, but there have been times in my life where I have frequently looked at these images to try to inspire my own weight loss. It starts out alright, it can even get me pumped and excited. I mean, who doesn’t love looking at pictures of gorgeous women showing off their bodies that are a size and shape most of us can only dream about? And we humans are, at our core, incredibly selfish and optimistic creatures. We see pictures of mostly unattainable body types and think, “Hell yeah! That’s gonna be me! I’m gonna be so hot, fuck yes!” And that excitement will, legitimately, get me pumped. I’ll start doing whatever my fancy new diet plan is and drive with my head held high to the gym to start working on carving out my future buff she-beast body (that’s somehow also waif like. But details).
Every time though, I would get discouraged and fall back off the wagon.
But I’ve realized something. I will never look like those models. Other than the fact that those pictures are usually airbrushed as shit and often crazy crash diets are involved before a shoot to get those fancy abs we love to covet, I realized that I really enjoy unhealthy things. I really really do. I love pizza. And cheeseburgers. And a whole mountain of other delicious goodness.
It makes sense, all of the junkiest foods we have are designed to be as appealing as they are addictive. I know they’re awful for me and will someday probably be my ultimate demise. Knowing all of this, I still freaking love the stuff.
Now, I’ve been working on reducing the frequency and amount that I consume it and it’s proving to be a difficult balancing act that I, quite frankly, thought I would have figured out much sooner, but such is life.
I have a lot of respect and love for (most) of the people in the world of health and fitness. A lot of you do some amazing things and it is fascinating to see what you are capable of doing with a human body. But I do know that despite fantasies to the contrary, I will never be one of you; the people who treat their body like a temple, the people that scoff and the very IDEA of eating food from a drive-thru, who wouldn’t dream of getting irresponsibly drunk and cooking a $3 frozen pizza just to fold it in half and eat it like a giant pepperoni taco.
But I’ve done that. And someday, if the stars align just right, I may again.
I love food. I love the shitty unhealthy foods as well as the very nutritious foods. I also both enjoy sitting on my ass as well as engaging in physical activity. I don’t want to give up any of those things.
Absolutes are easy, (which is probably why they’re are a favorite of Sith-lords across the galaxy). Telling yourself that you can’t have any junk food is simple. None. Ok. Got it.
But it’s not sustainable. At least for me. So begins the long and arduous task of figuring out how much junk food and ass-sitting time I can get away with to achieve a level of health that I’m happy with. And I still mostly have no clue what that balance will look like when I find it. But I remain determined to do so, despite what has been averaging out to the slowest weight loss I’ve ever seen, but certainly the steadiest.
It going to take me a long while to get where I’m going, but I know I’ll reach a place that I’m comfortable with. Where I’m physically able to do all of the things I would like and don’t live in fear of all sorts of impeding medical issues. Where I am still able to have fun and sometimes eat food that I would refer to as ‘hot garbage’.
So, my beautiful kittens, I have some homework for you. I want you think about that body that you’ve always fantasized having. Got it? Good. Now think about the realities of that persons life. What and how much they get to eat. The time they must dedicate to fitness. Now think about yourself. What you like to eat. How you like to spend your time.
If you’re like me, there are some major discrepancies there. So I want you to start trying to find your own balance and to stop thinking of those photos of ‘perfection’ as the only answer on how to look, or what it means to be healthy.
We are all unique snowflakes and for a million different reasons, your body may never look like that. Find your own balance. Find a sustainable, enjoyable way to health for you. And please, please, please don’t ever judge anyone else for what their answer is. We all have different goals and pleasures. Do what’s right for you and forget the rest.
Plus, you’re already sexy.